"Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble
their food, and tyrannize their teachers."
-- Socrates (470?-399 B.C.)
A man can never quite understand a boy, even when he has been a boy.
-- Gilbert K. Chesterson (1874-1936)
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs, B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
C is for Clair who wasted away, D is for Desmond thrown out of the sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach, F is for Fanny, sucked dry by a
leech.
G is for George, smothered under a rug, H is for Hector, done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in the lake, J is for James who took lye, by
mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe, L is for Leo who swallowed
some tacks.
M is for Maud who was swept out to sea, N is for Nevil who died of enui.
O is for Olive, run through with an awl, P is for Prue, trampled flat in a
brawl
Q is for Quinton who sank in a mire, R is for Rhoda, consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who perished of fits, T is for Titas who flew into bits.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain, V is for Victor, squashed under a
train.
W is for Winie, embedded in ice, X is for Xerxes, devoured by mice.
Y is for Yoric whose head was bashed in, Z is for Zilla who drank too much
gin.
-- Edward Gorey "The Gashlycrumb Tinies" (which is much
better with pictures)
A degenerated and demoralizing musical system is given a disgusting
christening as 'swing' and turned loose to gnaw away the moral fiber
of young people... Jam sessions, jitterbugs and cannibalistic rhythmic
orgies are wooing our youth along the primrose path to Hell!
-- the Archbishop of Dublique, 1938
A child can go only so far in life without potty training. It is not
mere coincidence that six of the last seven presidents were potty
trained, not to mention nearly half of the nation's state legislators.
-- Dave Barry
A child educated only at school is an uneducated child.
-- George Santayana (1863-1952)
Patri Friedman / patri@izzy.com