You'll find a girl as soon as you decide to look for just one at a time.
-- futuregirl
The absent are never without fault, nor the present without excuse.
-- Benjamin Franklin
"Everything on your resume was a lie!
I like that.
Welcome to the marketing department!"
However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.
-- Sir Winston Churchill
"Utopia is not an option"
Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family.
Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars,
compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good
health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest
mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends.
Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece
suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY
and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting
on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit-crushing game shows,
stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away
at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing
more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you
have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life...
But why would I want to do a thing like that?
-- _Trainspotting_
There once was a caliph of baghdad to whom a sculptor came, who
was commissioned to make a fountain. The fountain was the most
beautiful in the world, and the caliph approved it. Then he demanded
of the sculptor whether anyone else could have made so lovely
a fountain. The sculptor proudly said no one but he in the whole
world could have achieved it.
"Pay him what was promised", said the caliph. "And
put out his eyes."
-- John Brunner, _The Totally Rich_
In judging others, folks will work overtime for no pay.
-- Charles Carruthers
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still
and look stupid.
-- Hedy Lamarr
"Flattery is like chewing gum - enjoy it, but don't swallow
it."
-- Mrs. Wilson, "Dennis The Menace"
"Faith: not *wanting* to know what is true."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
"An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells
better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better
soup."
-- H. L. Mencken (1880-1956)
"...effectively removing all barriers to communication
between different races and cultures has caused more and bloodier
wars than anything else in the history of creation."
-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
All heiresses are beautiful.
-- John Dryden (1631-1700)
After all, what is your hosts' purpose in having a party? Surely
not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose,
they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place
by taxi.
-- P. J. O'Rourke
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the
human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
-- Stephen Butler Leacock
Adolescence: The stage between puberty and adultery.
-- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying
himself a pleasure. A total abstainer is one who abstains from
everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the
affairs of others.
-- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), "The Devil's Dictionary",
1911
Acquaintance, n.:
A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well
enough to lend to.
-- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), "The Devil's Dictionary",
1911
"True, money _can't_ buy happiness, but it isn't happiness
I want. It's money."
-- Bizarro
A Galileo could no more be elected president of the United States than he could be elected Pope of Rome. Both high posts are reserved for men favored by God with an extraordinary genius for swathing the bitter facts of life in bandages of self-illusion. -- H. L. Mencken (1880-1956)
Last Modified: 6/2001
Patri Friedman / patri@izzy.com