Insults
- You're the reason our kids are so ugly.
- The covers of this book are too far apart.
- He has all the virtues I dislike, and none of the vices I
admire.
-- Winston Churchill
- This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should
be thrown with great force.
- Dorothy Parker, book review
- The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation
but not the power of speech
-- George Bernard Shaw
- `I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice.
- I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
- May the Fleas of a Thousand Camels infest one of your Erogenous
Zones.
- May you get the winning lottery ticket and a hole in your
pocket.
- May you have eyes like a hawk and a spouse with warts.
- May you learn the secret of life in every dream, then forget
it each time you awaken.
- May you live in uninteresting times.
- May you make a poor man richer: your doctor.
- May you make a widow and orphans happy -- your own.
- May your children be so famous every policeman knows them.
- May your clock run slow, your heart fast, your bile over,
your wife away, your nose always.
- May your daughters' hair grow thick, black, and abundant
-- all over their faces.
- May your possessions never tempt another to steal.
- Your mind is a one bit processor with parity error
- Here's a red box, go call someone who cares (Dedrick T.S.L.)
- The difference between this company and a cactus plant is
that the plant has pricks on the outside.
- The hotel of your mind has many vacancies (Animaniacs)
- There are only two things I dislike about her - her face.
Also check out Comebacks, and these great Shakespearean insults.
Last Modified: Septmember 9th, 2007
Patri Friedman / patri@izzy.com