The past three days have been, amazingly enough, even more wild than those mentioned in my last email. They have been so far out, in fact, that I debated about whether to censor. After pondering the issue, I decided that my primary commitment in this narrative is to the truth. If you just wanted to hear exciting fictional travel narratives, you could go read Fear & Loathing or Dave Barry or something. The kicker here is that y'all know me, and this is all real. So, despite the risks and dangers of talking about things like soft drinks, hard drinks, and carpet sellers, I will do it anyway, true as always to my fans, with my only wave in the direction of caution being to discuss the worst stuff sort of elliptically and in jargon, this being done, to be truthful, more for entertainment than for safety.
With that out of the way, let us proceed.
On Wednesday evening, our german friends were a bit tired, so D___, Phyllis and I went out looking for some live music. We wandered into a random cafe for a drink, figuring we could ask there for further recommendations.
On the way, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that one of the outside patrons was dressed a bit funny - pale white face, dark makeup, black clothes, funny hat. Hmm. As we found a seat, further glances revealed dark clad figures that confirmed my suspicions. We had accidentally found the local Goth hangout.
I like to look and laugh at Goths, because I find them entertaining in their eccentricity, so this was no problem. We chilled out for a while, talked, watched people. The table next to us had a guy and a girl, and the guy was sort of cute in a standard nice boy way, wearing a baseball cap. Nothing amazing - until I noticed his tongue was pierced. A subtle flash here, a roll there, and suddenly this guy became sexy. After a while, we asked these two and our waiter for a fun place to go for some music. The waiter brought over the local "what's happening this month in berlin" guide, which was in german, but thats not a problem. He said "Here are addresses of clubs...and on this page is live music...and here we have for the gays." He then left the magazine wide open to the gay page on our table.
I took a closer look at the waiters in sight, and suddenly realized that this place was full of Big Gay German Waiters. Amazing that I hadn't noticed it before, but every waiter was Big and Gay. D___ and I were cool with going to a gay club, but Phyllis was not - the wild stripper who does drugs like Hunter S. Thompson and talks so loudly and raunchily it almost makes *me* uncomfortable actually has some taboos! This seemed like it was going to be fun. Just like physical therapy - find the place that hurts and push it. Find the taboo and make 'em squirm, its a great game. Phyllis said something about "Its not normal, all these people", and the waiter said, with a big grin on his face, "In Berlin, noone is normal." Good comeback. I almost cheered. Actually, come to think of it, I did cheer.
We eventually settled on SO 36, named for the section of East Berlin it had been in (South Oeust), which sounded fun - they had male strippers once a month, although not that night. We tried to coax the cute guy to come along, but he and his girl were tired, so Phyllis & D___ & I hopped into a cab. We got there, and it was obviously gay, lots more men than women, even some affection going on. We went in, paid the two butch women selling tickets, and gave them to the guy in the entranceway. As the three of us walked in, Phyllis suddenly got cold feet, turned around and said to the ticket taker "Are there any, like, straight people here?" He looked absolutely shocked, and said "You are straight?" in a tone that suggested not only complete amazement, but the distinct possibility that he might not be willing to let her dirty the insides of his club.
I quickly said with a grin "Just her, not us", gave a slow exaggerated shrug, and said "It's her problem! *We're* going to have fun", and dragged her in. It was a fun club, decent music and lights, some nice video screens. Phyllis quickly fortified herself with a stiff drink, and we headed towards the dancefloor. We danced for a while, and then started to get distracted. See, at the end of the dancefloor was a raised stage, and there were two guys dancing. One of them was wearing a sort of superhero outfit in blue and white, tight spandex shorts that said "USA", huge spice-girl boots, long spandex gloves. He had muscles bulging all over. Yes, even that one. Boring. Standard. He was uninteresting. But oh, the guy next to him!
He sort of reminded me of Mercutio from the new Romeo & Juliet. Light black skin, sort of cappucino, short frizzy orange hair. Wearing a see-through black top and a long tight orange skirt. And the man could dance! While the other guy looked like a studmuffin, he was boring to watch, but this guy was just lettin' loose, havin' fun, bustin out big 'ol smiles, wigglin' everything he had. Damn! D___ and I stared lustfully for quite a while, trying to dance at the same time, her doing better than I. Eventually I stopped the charade, walked over to the stage, put my elbow on the stage and my chin on my hand, and just stared. He gave me a smile and a wiggle and I blew him a kiss. After a little while, I went back to dancing, and a few minutes later they left the stage. To our chagrin, they didn't return to mingle, which isn't too surprising - they were probably getting paid for their work and had other gigs elsewhere, or at least didn't wanna mix business and pleasure.
For those TS fans out there, there was a very tall masculine looking blonde woman dancing like crazy who I think was a post-op transsexual. I mean, its possible that a woman could be that tall (6 feet, maybe a little more) and have a face that masculine, but I would guess that this one was born with more dangly bits than she has now.
Anyway, D___ and I were getting tired by this point, and the hot guy was gone, and Phyllis had been ready to leave since we decided on the club, so we took off. I dunno if I mentioned it, but Hans' roomate Andrew had returned from France, so both residents of the apartment were there, and a friend of Andrew's named Steffan was visiting, so it had gotten a bit crowded, so D___ & I moved across the street to a hotel. So we all crashed, and that was that.
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