This essay was written one frustrated morning. Amazingly, I managed to sleep well that evening and the next, but then my difficulties returned. It is based on my experiences from September '99 through, well, it ain't over yet.

Note that further medical investigation has suggested that my insomnia is not merely due to poor sleeping habits as the essay suggests. It is also influenced by respiratory problems (bad allergies, chronic congestion, nocturnal asthma). Thus it will take more than just willpower to solve.


The First Five Minutes

by Patri Friedman (patri@izzy.com)

 

The first five minutes are the hardest. The rest of the day is downhill, but getting there is far from easy. I'd like to say that the willpower required is like finishing a marathon when you've stumbled and fallen with a mile to go. Its a good image - having to finish a marathon every morning, just to get out of bed. But it doesn't ring quite true. It takes a very different strength to push actively than to resist passively. Not that the latter is as easy as it sounds. Passive resistance: just don't close your eyes, just don't pull the covers over your head, just don't grab your alarm clock and throw it through the window to fall three stories and shatter on the street, never again to disturb your priceless slumber. If you held an art festival where every exhibit was an alarm clock destroyed in a different way, insomniacs would come in droves, milling quietly, looking at the remains with hatred in their red-rimmed eyes.

One of the things which makes the first five minutes so difficult is the constant whispering of the Temptress. "Just another couple hours. You don't have anywhere to be. You don't need to go to class. Be good to yourself. You need the rest. Sleep is important. What is the point of getting up if you are too tired to deal with the day?" The words are filled with half-truths, short-term plusses that lead to long-term misery. Listening to those words got me to where I am today.

I slept all right as a teenager, I guess. I remember always being tired in the mornings, but I had a routine that was inflicted upon me by external forces, so I stuck to it, which made getting through those first five a lot easier. College was another matter. Staying up late means sleeping in late means staying up later. Schedule was a polymorphous beast, constantly changing as social and academic demands stretched it in contrary directions. For awhile, my body managed. Then one night, my sophomore year, I couldn't sleep. And the next, and the next, and the next. On the fifth night, things were better, but from then on, I could never take sleep for granted. Every now and then it would desert me, and as my sleep debt grew, my habits got worse. I was more tired in the morning, so I stayed in bed longer, and that cycle, eventually, produced the first five minutes.

Being an insomniac is sort of like being a little stoned all the time. The whole world has a constant tinge of surreality. Things move a little slow or a little fast, your memory is shot, your reactions are off, and many a word smears twixt lip and ears. The worst part is, you never come down, never get to feel sharp, never get to recuperate. Normal people know when they are stoned, because the world just ain't like that otherwise. One of the most frightening things about insomnia is that you can smoke pot and then completely forget it until hours or days later. The surreality of marijuana just blends into the surreality of everything else, tinging it, tinting it, but not really changing it. Pot is like insomnia on its good days, when it just makes you hyper and punchy, when everything is funny. I don't know a drug like insomnia on its bad days, but I find it hard to imagine it would be popular.

Driving didn't use to worry me. I was young and I trusted my reflexes to keep my safe. Now my reactions are dulled, and on my bad days, cars scare me. Some insomniacs, I know, have problems falling asleep at the wheel. It is not one of my symptoms - I'm good at staying awake, or at least, thats the optimistic way I sometimes like to look at my condition. Falling asleep at a time when concentration is vital is a large discrete step, a clear indication that someone shouldn't drive. The slow, steady decay of reflexes and reasoning, on the other hand, is subtler and perhaps more dangerous. When will it get to the point where I am a danger as a driver? Will I know? How will I be able to tell? I do a lot of walking now, on the days when I am unable to confront those fears, when the spectre of the first five minutes haunts the rest of the day.

Those questions strike right to the Hofstadterish heart of one of the central issues of any chronic problem that messes with our machinery for reasoning. How can we objectively examine the part of us which examines things? If something goes wrong that makes us unable to see that something is wrong, how will we ever know? I think that I know about how I compare to what I'd be like if I was well rested, the magnitude and direction of my mental and emotional drift. But maybe I'm completely wrong, maybe I used to be like this and this is just something to blame things on, or maybe I'm even more fucked-up than I think and hanging onto sanity by my fingernails.

There is one way, perhaps, to find out. Get better. Which brings us back to that five-minute slice of hell. When insomnia is caused by schedule irregularities, circadian rhythm offsets, and poor sleep habits, the long-term, non-drug cure is pretty simple. Pick a time. Get up every morning at that time. No sleeping in. No naps. No rolling over. Get up. Every morning. Or you won't get better. Getting up every morning is hard enough for normal sleepers. Now imagine being on the ragged edge of exhaustion, suffering from months or years of chronic sleep deprivation. You spend 11 hours in bed, most days, to get those precious 6 hours of sleep. And thats on the good nights. On the bad, those 11 hours are tossing and turning, and you get maybe 2 or 3, all of it light.

Then they tell you that for the next few months, you are going to get even less sleep. That's right, less. You don't get to spend 11 hours in bed any more. The cure, as is often the case in life, will at first be worse than the disease. For months, while you've been miserable, you have at least allowed yourself the sweet luxury of devoting a great deal of time towards trying to get sleep. After all, thats the problem, right? Not enough sleep? So that time in bed is your time, its good for you, or at least that's what you have been telling yourself. Then they take that last comfort away, leaving you with nothing but the first five minutes.

I'm not a marathon runner. I can't push my body towards its limits with my willpower, climbing walls of pain and weariness. But I can, I hope, endure. I can sit, and hang on, trying not to fall into the seductive trap below. Its a different kind of strength. Strength to remain, not to attain. But its what is needed, and perhaps, if I have enough of it, if I get past those first five minutes enough times, they will become the first three minutes and then the first minute and then the first ten seconds and then nothing at all, and I will be well again.


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Last Modified: April, 2000
Patri Friedman / patri@izzy.com